“Am I Doing This Right?” - Quiet Thoughts Every Expat Has
Living abroad comes with big adventures and big adjustments — but it’s the little thoughts that follow you everywhere. Here are a few you might recognize.
Living abroad comes with big adventures and big adjustments — but it’s the little thoughts that follow you everywhere.
They show up when you’re ordering lunch, figuring out the bus, or sitting in a waiting room for yet another piece of paperwork. They’re not loud or dramatic. They’re quiet, fleeting, and sometimes contradictory.
Some are funny. Some are a little lonely. All of them are part of the expat headspace.
Here are a few you might recognize.
1. “Did I say that right?”
Every time you open your mouth in the local language, there’s a split second of doubt.
You run through the sentence in your head, hope the verb tense wasn’t completely off, and brace yourself for either a nod of understanding or a polite look of confusion.
Sometimes you nail it. Sometimes you order something entirely different from what you intended. Either way, you learn quickly — and often with a story to tell later.
2. “Why is this so much harder than it should be?”
What should have been a quick errand somehow turns into a half-day project.
A form is missing a stamp. The store is closed for a lunch break you didn’t know about. The online system is down, so you’re sent across town to do it in person.
You stand there wondering how something so simple got so complicated — and then you remind yourself you’re learning a whole new system, one step at a time.
3. “Am I being too foreign?”
It happens in small moments — when you speak a little too loudly, pause too long at the crosswalk, or pull out your phone to double-check the currency.
You become aware that you’re standing out, even if no one else seems to notice. Sometimes it makes you self-conscious. Sometimes you shrug and carry on.
Either way, the thought pops up now and then, a quiet reminder that blending in takes time — and maybe isn’t the goal at all.
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4. “Wow… I live here.”
It sneaks up on you in the middle of something ordinary.
You’re walking to the market, waiting for the tram, or sipping coffee in your usual spot when it suddenly clicks — this isn’t a vacation. This is your life now.
The moment is equal parts surreal and satisfying. For a second, you see your surroundings with the same wonder you had on your first day, but with the comfort of knowing your way around.
It’s a quiet mix of pride and gratitude that never fully goes away.
5. “I miss… but I don’t want to go back.”
You think about the foods, places, and people you left behind. There’s a tug in your chest when you see a photo or hear a familiar song.
But the feeling doesn’t mean you’re ready to pack up and return. It’s possible to miss something deeply and still be content where you are.
It’s a complicated kind of nostalgia — one that lets you honor your past without giving up your present.
6. “Is this how locals do it?”
From how you greet someone to how you pack your groceries, you’re constantly observing and comparing.
You try to copy the unspoken rules — where to stand, when to pay, how to hail a taxi — but sometimes you’re not sure if you’ve nailed it or just invented your own version.
It’s part social experiment, part survival skill. And over time, you start to realize that even locals do things differently… so maybe there’s no single “right” way after all.
7. “I thought I’d be used to this by now.”
Some things stop surprising you after a few weeks. Others still catch you off guard months — even years — later.
It could be a quirky tradition, a bit of bureaucracy, or the way the grocery store changes its layout without warning. You think you’ve adjusted, and then something reminds you you’re still learning.
It’s not a failure. It’s just proof that life abroad keeps you on your toes.
8. “Will I ever really feel local?”
No matter how long you stay, this question lingers in the background.
You make friends, speak the language, and know your way around — but there’s still a part of you that feels slightly outside the circle.
Some days it bothers you. Other days you accept that maybe the goal isn’t to feel fully local, but to feel fully at home in your own version of life here.
These quiet thoughts aren’t signs you’re doing anything wrong. They’re the background noise of adjusting, learning, and living in a place that was once completely unfamiliar.
They remind you that moving abroad isn’t a single leap — it’s a series of small steps, questions, and realizations that shape your experience over time.
If you’ve had any of these thoughts, you’re not alone. In fact, you’re right on track.
What’s the quiet expat thought that’s been in your head lately?
Share it in the comments — it might be the one someone else needed to hear today.


Thanks for these reminders. I have lived most of my life in one country (Ireland) but still find myself an outsider ("blow-in").
I am currently learning Spanish as I would like to spend more time in Spanish-speaking areas with a sunnier climate. The variety of accents/pronunciation is immense! But I enjoy the process.
When I read this, I thought, "That's true in all of life, not just moving abroad:"
They remind you that moving abroad isn’t a single leap — it’s a series of small steps, questions, and realizations that shape your experience over time. Blue